You Weren’t Matched Speed Dating, So What’s Next?

By Maya Gottfried

Author of Vegan Love: Dating and Partnering for the Cruelty-Free Gal

Dating often comes with expectations, whether it’s a Veg Speed Date event or a traditional date. We get all dressed up, ask “the right” questions, smile, and share who we are with someone else. Shouldn’t another person fall completely in love with us? What happens when we put in the energy to meet a soul mate, but don’t find them on our first try? Here are few suggestions for what to do when you didn’t make a match.

  • Remember, it’s no one’s fault – There are a lot of people on the planet, some of them find deep connections with each other and some don’t. If you didn’t match with anyone you met at a Veg Speed Date event, it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you, or the people you met. You just weren’t meant to be together. This is your cue to keep looking, not hide in bed under the covers. Just keep dating, and seeking that true connection.


  • Be grateful for not matching – Seriously! Be grateful if you didn’t match with someone who you don’t experience a genuine, mutual connection with. This will leave you open to meeting someone with whom you really have a spark. What if you began dating someone simply for the sake of company and were distracted from your search for true love. You might miss out on meeting a true soul mate.


  • Don’t focus on the negative – The day after not matching is a beautiful day, like every other. Remind yourself what you are grateful for. The beautiful outdoors, living a healthy veg lifestyle, your companion animals. Enjoy what you do have in your life, and don’t dwell on disappointments. It’s a new day that can bring beautiful things if you simply stay open to receiving them. Try writing a list of all of the things in your life you are grateful for.


  • Take yourself on a date – Why not? Were you hoping to go to a new indie film with a Veg Speed Date match? You can still go. Take yourself to your favorite vegan restaurant, too. There are many ways to have fun on your own. We are in no way dependent on dates to have a good time. And the happier and more confident we are in ourselves, the more we attract others.


  • Embrace mindfulness – When you go to your next Veg Speed Date event, remember to stay in the present. Enjoy your few minutes with each person. Pay attention to any feelings you are experiencing and really be in the moment. When we speed date we have the opportunity to meet new people who have each had a unique life, and have a story to share. Appreciate that time with them and try not to be distracted by expectations for the future or concerns about what the other person is thinking. Those brief dates are valuable time with other human beings, whether or not they turn into relationships.


PS – If you didn’t get matched, check your Speed Dater Portal for a special discount on your next Veg Speed Date event!


Maya Gottfried is the author of Vegan Love: Dating and Partnering for the Cruelty-Free Gal (Skyhorse), and books for children including Our Farm: By the Animals of Farm Sanctuary (Knopf). Her articles have been published in outlets including VegNews, Lilith Magazine, Our Hen House, People online, and The Huffington Post.